List of things that I am currently taking charge of:
Border Patrol took my car.
This morning I sent a package to the Border Patrol Office with paperwork that Kenneth's Dad instructed me to do. Kennth's Dad is a lawyer and pretty much one of the coolest guys ever. I like hearing him tell stories about places he's visited. Back on track. The paperwork was notarized by my friend Emily, who is one of my prettiest friends (she pays me to say that!). With her backing it, I really feel like everything will be okay. I sent the package by Fed-Ex, so I have a tracking number for it. Once it gets there, I will call to request a formal interview and see if I can get the car back. Whew, that was a mess.
The Silver-Lining: I know what to do now if I am under arrest. I know that I will not allow people into my vehicle ever again as a hitch-hiker. Also, if I ever get into trouble, I know that I have people who are willing to pick me up from jail, Cj; I have people to will help me out with legal advice, Kenneth's Dad; and people who would help out in any way they can, Emily.
Moving into the "Dorm".
I placed my 30 Day Notice with my awesome roommate Raul, and he is going to forward that to the property manager, Becky. I am going to be packing up all my stuff and moving it over to the "Dorm". Which is basically a backyard shed which I am going to change into a home-esque place. I'm nervous, but as we all know, home is where the heart is. I'll make it work for the next upcoming months. Luckily, I have great friends who are willing to help me out with this move.
The Silver-Lining: This gives me the opportunity to pay off debt faster. I mean, rent and utilities are only $200 a month. That is a steal! I am thankful that I have the chance to pay things off faster. Otherwise, I could be here for another year! YIKES!
Figuring out my Financial Situation:
After looking at my finances, I'm pretty sure the rest of the world is in a similar situation like me. My main goal for the next few months is to be able to pay back loans to my friend Beau and to my Aunt Luci. Both of them were able to loan me some funds when I needed it most. I don't want to move to San Diego with a cloud of debt that follows. Having the chance to start over is exactly what I want. I do believe that once everything is paid for, I'll have that opportunity. It is just going to be a bit hard. I do want to find a part time job. I am looking at Peet's Coffeehouse, where my wife, Brooke, works. I think it would be a great opportunity.
So I've got to place my application in!
The Silver-Lining: I have to keep on the budget. And there is a miracle right there! I am budgeting. Of course, not the most exciting news ever, but I think learning how to manage money, payments, debt, and the whole daily living expenses is incredibly important. I'm doing it. I'm finding my way.
My job at CIG:...there is no positive way of saying this, "I fucking hate my job." But it is the only thing that offers me a steady flow of money in order to accomplish my goals.
(I hate talking about work, I can go on and on about it. From payroll to my boss... really, everything.)
The Silver-Lining: I really believe that after these months ahead, I'll be a stronger person. Stronger in the sense that I'll know what I want in a work environment. Which I already have an idea, but it never hurts.
DL Issue:I had to cough up $186 to the DMV last Friday due to the fact that it is currently cancelled and needs to be re-issued. I'd be more than happy to stay at the DMV if it meant keeping the money, but the combination of paying THAT MUCH plus having to retake the written portion of the test, really bombs.
The Silver-Lining: I have a working DL which will save me in the future. I just need to get it in the mail.
My Stepmom Jill passing away:This one is difficult for me. On February 1st, my dad called me and said that Jill had died due to some medication she had taken. At that moment, I was walking over to Kory's house to watch the Superbowl. First, I was taken back and the popular word of the conversation was, "Wow." That's all I could say. The news really shocked me more than anything else. I opted not to go to the part and instead hang out with Brooke, who was low-key and comfortable to be with. The day continued and the thought just rested in the back of my mind. The next day being Monday, I felt just terrible. A wave of sorrow and numbness overcame me. I didn't expect it to be honest with you. I am normally a very fluid person. I didn't go into work until two hours later trying to figure out what I should do. Financially, I cannot go to Arizona, which leads me to think that I am a bad son. I did go to work, but I wasn't happy about it (but I am never happy about going to work). I got home and just wanted to be left alone. I made a video about how I cared about everyone in my life. The fact that I cannot be there just blew up into an explosion of emotions.
Now, I am thinking about the past and what has happened. And, I feel sad, but there is this tinkering nudge of expectation, like somewhere I knew something bad was going to happen.
I miss her and love her.
And I hope she is exactly where she wanted to be.
The Silver-Lining: She is no longer in pain. She is where she needs to be. And I can hope she is watching over me. This makes me want to step up in my family. My youngest brother David will need his brothers. I will be there for him in any way I can.
So, there are a few things.
...the list can continue, but I can only look at the Silver-Lining for so long. I am normally an optimistic person. Once light hits ahead, it'll grow. Right now, my optimism is just a bit weak now.
